myGod==self ? myLife=failure : myLife=conquerorInChrist*

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:35-39

Recently, different circumstances have been bringing me back to Romans 8. Whether it was conversations, or devotionals, or sermons, it seems like God has wanted me to spend some time here. Good ole’ Oswald Chambers directed me there again today. I could just steal from him again and post his thoughts, but I thought I better come up with something on my own. Maybe it would help me to sort out what God’s trying to get through to me.

One of the biggest faults I have is forgetting who I am. I have this sinful tendency to hide behind these walls of my heart and build up a little Andrea-statue. This statue is my ideal woman. She’s fit and trim and beautiful and patient and strong and yak yak yak. And then when I have her perfect and standing there on her pedestal in all her glory….I compare myself to her…and I spontaneously combust...

My first realization of man’s depravity, I was relieved. My comparisons to the Andrea-statue were no longer necessary because I knew I would never EVER compare. But still, my sinful tendency is to stop there and forget who I am NOW in Christ. Sure, I’m pathetic, I’m incapable, and I’m a failure. I face the evils of the world, the hardships, the pain and I am broken by them all. Instead of turning my face heavenward to my redeemer, I turn even more inward and adopt a “screw the world!” attitude. “I’m building this statue of who I’m gonna be and then you’ll all see!! You’ll see who I REALLY am!!” I forget. I forget about the incomprehensible love God had for me to cover up my inadequacies and to cleanse me from my sins and failures. And that love is never going to fail, even if I do forget about it once in awhile or I’m deceived that it WILL fail and I’ll have nothing to fall back on. Oswald Chambers puts it, “Can God's love hold when everything says that His love is a lie, and that there is no such thing as justice?” I like the idea of not just conquering all this deceptive crap, but MORE then conquering it because of who I am in Christ Jesus. God looks at me and does not just see my failures. He looks and sees my failures FORGIVEN.

Now, if only I can remember that tomorrow…

*coded title is dedicated to my partner in geekdom, Jerod.