The strangest things are funnier in a hospital

I've been hanging out at the hospital quite a bit in the last week. Not because I really enjoy the lovely smells and very cheerful night nurses, but I'm there to hang out and kick it at old school with my grandpa. Although I just mainly sit there and repeat things because he doesn't hear me the first five times I say something, it's pretty tiring, so I'm trying to find anything I can for amusement. Here are some highlights and some juicy Grandpa-quotes.

Watching him eat....or rather leaving the room so I don't have to watch him eat. Since he's been cooking for himself the past few years, he thinks anything warm that resembles food is not only edible but DELECTABLE! And he literally inhales it. I love you, Grandpa, but I'm just going to go for a walk while you eat your mashed potatoes, k? Not that he takes his gaze off his plate long enough to notice I'm gone anyway.

When talking about his doctor, "That Dr. Gray is a black man...but he sure is NICE!" (note: I don't think my grandpa is racist or anything...it's just that he's spent most of his life in Montana...small town Montana.)

The first night he was admitted, it was about 10:30 (he usually goes to bed at 9:00) when they got him settled in his bed, and while the nurse was still asking him her routine admittance questions, he took his hearing aids out and handed them to me, rolled over, and went to sleep. The nurse looked at me all panic-y because she still had a bunch of questions and I was all, "Apparently, he's going to sleep now" and we tried to figure out the answers to the rest of the questions while he snoozed away.

One afternoon after work when I went in to visit he asked me, "So, is Gerald still at work?"

Watching him hit on the female nurses. Seriously. He asked every single one of them if they are married and when they aren't, he makes some remark about how he's probably too old for them anyway.

Listening to him tell the same story to the same nurse 20 times. It's cute, really! (I have to keep saying that to myself.)

I was actually excited on Saturday to have an excuse not to watch the Husker's game. So, what do we do when I get to the hospital? Turn on football. And since he can't see OR hear, for three hours, I had to be running commentary for a sport I'm not very fond of. But, at least he sat in a chair so I could chill in his bed.
Me: "The Huskers just got an interception!"
Grandpa: "The nurses stopped reception?? What?"
Me: "No, the HUSKERS! INTERCEPTION!"
Grandpa: "Oh, so South Carolina has the ball now?"
Me: "Um....sure. Whatever."

In all seriousness, I really do have mostly fun spending time with him. He gets me rolling sometimes when he pulls the craziest stories out. And there are a lot of times I'm so glad that I'm there because a nurse or doctor will come in that doesn't understand that he's mostly deaf and aren't as accommodating as they should be. So, I can at least attempt to calm him down when he (understandably) gets frustrated when he doesn't understand something. I'm really lucky to live a few minutes from the hospital so I can hang out with my grandpa while he's there. I think I'll miss that when he gets discharged tomorrow.