Hi Mom!

Today my mom turns another year older. And I'm posting a Happy Birthday post to her not because she's old. Besides, it's rude to talk about a lady's age. It's not like it's some significant, embarrassing landmark year or anything. *cough cough* Anyway, here's a picture I found on my computer of her when I was just a wee one. I thought some nose-picking was a good way to commemorate her turning fif....er...another year older. Sorry about the low res of the picture. It was one I scanned in awhile ago and once I cropped it down to just her and I, it was smaller then I had anticipated.


Happy Birthday Mom! I wouldn't have been able to "pick" one better than you.

Love ya.

The strangest things are funnier in a hospital

I've been hanging out at the hospital quite a bit in the last week. Not because I really enjoy the lovely smells and very cheerful night nurses, but I'm there to hang out and kick it at old school with my grandpa. Although I just mainly sit there and repeat things because he doesn't hear me the first five times I say something, it's pretty tiring, so I'm trying to find anything I can for amusement. Here are some highlights and some juicy Grandpa-quotes.

Watching him eat....or rather leaving the room so I don't have to watch him eat. Since he's been cooking for himself the past few years, he thinks anything warm that resembles food is not only edible but DELECTABLE! And he literally inhales it. I love you, Grandpa, but I'm just going to go for a walk while you eat your mashed potatoes, k? Not that he takes his gaze off his plate long enough to notice I'm gone anyway.

When talking about his doctor, "That Dr. Gray is a black man...but he sure is NICE!" (note: I don't think my grandpa is racist or anything...it's just that he's spent most of his life in Montana...small town Montana.)

The first night he was admitted, it was about 10:30 (he usually goes to bed at 9:00) when they got him settled in his bed, and while the nurse was still asking him her routine admittance questions, he took his hearing aids out and handed them to me, rolled over, and went to sleep. The nurse looked at me all panic-y because she still had a bunch of questions and I was all, "Apparently, he's going to sleep now" and we tried to figure out the answers to the rest of the questions while he snoozed away.

One afternoon after work when I went in to visit he asked me, "So, is Gerald still at work?"

Watching him hit on the female nurses. Seriously. He asked every single one of them if they are married and when they aren't, he makes some remark about how he's probably too old for them anyway.

Listening to him tell the same story to the same nurse 20 times. It's cute, really! (I have to keep saying that to myself.)

I was actually excited on Saturday to have an excuse not to watch the Husker's game. So, what do we do when I get to the hospital? Turn on football. And since he can't see OR hear, for three hours, I had to be running commentary for a sport I'm not very fond of. But, at least he sat in a chair so I could chill in his bed.
Me: "The Huskers just got an interception!"
Grandpa: "The nurses stopped reception?? What?"
Me: "No, the HUSKERS! INTERCEPTION!"
Grandpa: "Oh, so South Carolina has the ball now?"
Me: "Um....sure. Whatever."

In all seriousness, I really do have mostly fun spending time with him. He gets me rolling sometimes when he pulls the craziest stories out. And there are a lot of times I'm so glad that I'm there because a nurse or doctor will come in that doesn't understand that he's mostly deaf and aren't as accommodating as they should be. So, I can at least attempt to calm him down when he (understandably) gets frustrated when he doesn't understand something. I'm really lucky to live a few minutes from the hospital so I can hang out with my grandpa while he's there. I think I'll miss that when he gets discharged tomorrow.

These are the days of our lives

One year and three months ago, Jerod and I went on our first date.

One year ago today, my Grandma Howe left us to be with her savior.

Yesterday, we received news that my future in-laws have the opportunity to move much much closer to us.

Yesterday, my Grandpa Howe was admitted to the hospital. (He's fine, by the way. Just there overnight for observation.)

Today, is the first day of summer.

Tomorrow, I will have been engaged for eight months.

In ten days, my big sister will turn 29. (For the first time.)

In 23 days, I will be an old married woman.

In one month, I will be in Italy.

Things can change so fast and so dramatically, can't they? I agree with Melodee. Time IS weird.

Feelin' like a princess

Wedding dresses are just silly, aren't they? Such expensive, uncomfortable, scratchy pieces of material that you wear one day in your life but that still take a significant chunk out of the ole' bank account. In efforts to avoid that headache, I was lucky enough to have a dear girlfriend of mine offer to lend me her gorgeous wedding dress. It was made in Scotland and is adorned with Swarovski crystal beadwork. It is a lovely dress and I especially loved the "free" part of the deal.

One Monday evening, while my mom was staying with me, I had her help me wriggle into the borrowed dress to see if it needed altered. We hmm'd and haw'd over the straps and how we could make them fit me a little better and Mom remarked on how uncomfortable I looked. Which, I might add, I WAS. Extremely uncomfortable. But, it looked ok, and I just thought the uncomfort-factor just came along with the deal.

Now, both Jerod and I have worked really hard at keeping this wedding simple enough so that we could afford to do it ourselves without burdening either of our parents with the silly expense or headache that a wedding tends to be. I have enjoyed planning it by myself and pinching pennies, but at the same time I've kind of missed out on the part where my mom and I sit down and plan or do something wedding-y together. I didn't really realize that I was missing it. I'm not a girly girl and I'm not one of those girls that has had my wedding planned since I was five. I thought I was just making it easy on everyone, especially my extremely busy parents. Anyway, Mom called me later on in the day on Tuesday and said she had been thinking about it all day and that she really wanted me to have my own dress and that her and my Dad wanted to buy it for me. I hung up the phone and I was so surprised at my reaction of my eyes welling up. I didn't know how good it was going to feel for her to just INSIST that we go wedding dress shopping together. It's not that she hasn't taken an interest or offered to help in any way. It's just that I haven't ASKED or expected it.

So a week later, my mom, my sister and I spent an afternoon at David's Bridal. When the sales lady helped me zip up the first dress I tried on, I wasn't quite sure that it was done up all the way. It was snug and it hung on me alright, but it was WAY too comfortable to be true. I realized that day that you can have a wedding dress on and be able to dance and breath and eat cake. Who knew?? And I don't care who you are or how much of a tomboy you are, once you put on a wedding dress, you ARE a princess. And you will even gasp a little when you see your reflection in the mirror for the first time. Because, dude, you have a WEDDING dress on. And you look beautiful.

Jerod doesn't want to know what the dress looks like, so I have to hide this, but for a sneak peek, click here.

Look at the pretty sleeves!! And those wonderful shoulder freckles!! Ok, so it's not really a great sneak peak. It tells you nothing about what the dress looks like. It's a great tease though, isn't it? Mwaa haa haa haa!!!

Photo credit: Sue H.

Alaska Pictures

Here is a small fraction of the 2.25 GB of pictures we took on the cruise. My mom, sister and I all combined our pictures so I can't remember who took what picture. With this pictobrowser thingy, I could only have it show the smaller size pictures, so if you want the big pictures with descriptions, go here. Ok, knock yourself out.

Happy 80th Birthday Grandpa

The World's Biggest Teaparty!!

I took my little cousins Aubrey and Dayzee to My Little Pony Live - The World's Biggest Teaparty last night. It was quite the experience, let me tell you.

Here are some memorable quotes by the girls last night:

"I like My Little Pony so much that sometimes it makes me cry."

"Don't slip on the ice. You'll fall and break your head. Don't you know this is SEA-ment!"


Aubrey at one point in the show, leaned over and whispered the great secret to me. "They aren't real ponies. They are just people in costumes."

Aubrey: "Why is Pinkie Pink?"
Me: "Because her name is Pinkie."
Aubrey: "Well why is her name Pinkie?"
Me: "Because she's pink!"
Aubrey: "Well, that doesn't make any sense."

A Panicky Hypocrite

I rarely post about deep heart issues here because I always go back and read it later and roll my eyes. “Great, Andrea. Now, everyone knows just how screwed up your thinking is. Now, everyone knows that you don’t love God and others as much as you should. They know what a pathetic sinner you are. Nice work.” So, here’s to more regret and pathetic-ness (And butchering of the English language, I might add.) Forgive me if it gets long…

If you dare to read more, click here.

I’m always critical of the engaged couples I watch that spend months and months planning every detail of a wedding, but don’t take a second to plan the marriage. I guess this is one more dimension of hypocrisy I can add to my resume…

In small group this week, our leader asked us about our spiritual “goals” for 2007. Now, the only thing I associate 2007 with is a certain event occurring in July. That’s the goal for 2007! Duh! Get through the wedding with minimal cost and anxiety and then I’m good! His question got me thinking though. Just for a second, I snapped out of wedding mode and instantly got freaked out. Just a few thoughts that ran through my head were: “Crap. Am I ready to be someone’s WIFE?” “Every aspect of my independence will be changed and virtually gone.” “We aren’t just going to be Andrea and Jerod. We’re going to be an ENTITY.” “I have to get online and find a book to help me prepare!”

Jerod and I talk about our upcoming marriage constantly. We talk about our goals and our dreams. We talk about what we expect, both from ourselves and each other. We discuss, compromise, argue and try to wrestle it out. An awesome thing that I appreciate about our relationship is that we think alike. The control-freak programmers inside of us want a full and complete design in place before we begin implementation. Better to work the bugs out beforehand then after you find a huge design flaw, right??

Finances, housing, kids, dogs, health insurance, vehicles, careers, 401k’s….

But, then I get this panic attack. Have I thought it ALL through??

I have slipped up spiritually since becoming a “couple”. I’m a very methodical and scheduled person. But, I also need to mention that I’m a very BORING person too. So, if anything comes along to mess up the flow, it rustles all the papers on my desk. And the whole schedule is thrown off. And for some reason, I’m having a hard time finding the balance between time with Jerod, time with friends and family, time with the puppy, and time with God. Seriously. Last night I organized my kitchen fridge and pantry and it was so bizarrely satisfying that one thing in my life was back under control that even I had to question my own sanity.

Now, in six short months, I’m going to be someone’s WIFE. It won’t just be me taking care of me and my puppy. I won’t just be thinking of MY future and my career. And it’s also not just about MY spiritual health. I’m going to be on a life-long team with someone and I’m going to have to share my time and effort even more. How the heck am I going to balance THAT? If spiritual growth is stagnating now, I will never be able to handle this! Oh, it’s exhausting to think about.

So, someone tell me where the magic pill is. You know, the brightly colored peppermint flavored wife-pill that you swallow the on your wedding day and everything becomes easy again. Oh, what a hypocrite I am. God, forgive me for neglecting you and for leaning on Jerod in time when I should be looking to YOU for guidance. Forgive me for not always putting you in the center of Jerod and my relationship and decisions. Forgive me for not loving you enough to foster our relationship and instead focusing on temporal things. Forgive me for loving things of the world more then I love YOU. Forgive me for forgetting your promises and what you have brought me out of.

Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD " — and you forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah
Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him. You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.
Psalm 32:5-8

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Matthew 6:28-33

Happy New Year

Sorry for the negativity two posts back. I was extremely disappointed when I discovered that my trip to Nebraska to see Jerod and meet all his extended family was canceled. I've been looking forward to it for a couple months now, and it was just a bummer to miss it. But, as you can see from the pictures below, Jerod heroically braved the Midwest blizzard to make it home in time to ring in the new year with me. Awww...ain't he the best? So, Jen, Jerod and I all headed out to the 12th planet on Sunday night to party on.

Jen and Anant

And we can't forget the WHOO-HOOO pictures....um....staged much?

The OTHER exciting thing

Over Labor Day weekend, I met up with Jen in Chicago. And of course, as I always do with Jen, we had a blast. Here are a few pictures of the trip.

Five minutes after I got there, Jen whisked me off to a Cubs game at Wrigley field.

The crowd overflow would seat themselves on top of houses across the street.

Barry Bonds pretending to swing (He ended up walking)

Jen is so proud of this shot. Take a look at the reflection in my glasses.

We had to stop at White Castle after the game for some Sliders!!

Jen in front of Buckingham Fountain

This fountain/sculture was so fun to take pictures of at night. Here the kids were waiting for the spray of water to come out of the person's mouth.

The Chicago "Bean" at night.

Our reflection in the bean at night.

Mmmm....Chicago style pizza.

More of the "Bean"

Jen contemplating the "Bean"

Me on top of the Sears tower. That's the Hancock building in the background.

And, as always, we have to ham it up and pose in front of the cheezy Sears tower picture.

It really is that tall. I'm not exaggerating.

Navy Pier.

A month ago today...

I was visiting my grandma in the nursing home with Jerod. I wanted her to meet him, even though for the last couple years she hasn't been able to communicate with us and interaction with her had become extremely difficult. I talked to her about how we had just gotten back from a rainy camping trip like the ones her, grandpa and I used to take and how I just couldn't nail down the secrets of her Angel Food Cake recipe. She looked good and she even appeared to try to talk to me at one point. For the first time since she went into the nursing home, I cried when I left. Something seemed different about that visit. I just thought it was the reminiscing that got to me...

Sunday I got a call from my parents that my grandma was back in the hospital with pnemonia (she had just recovered from the Norwalk Virus a few days before). It appeared that she also had another stroke and had lost her ability to swallow. My grandpa and his kids had also made the difficult decision to not go down the feeding tube route. The speech pathologist had no choice but to recommend no more food, and they took her off all the IV's. They put her on comfort measures only and we began the waiting game.

From the minute they took her IV out, we made sure that she was never alone in her room. So, with everyone pulling together, we were able to take shifts where she almost always had at least two of her kids or grandkids with her. I headed home to Big Timber almost every evening after work and tried to be there as much as possible. I haven't ever really been around sick or dying people. I've tried to work out some eloquent way to write about it or explain it, but I quit trying. I don't think there are real words for it.

I remember one day in particular when we were all very tired and we were starting to get cranky. I was in an extrememly pissy mood and every time I would look at my grandma's pained face, I had an overwhelming anger at God. My grandma was one of the most devout, solid Christian women I have ever known. Yet, she was suffering so badly and she couldn't even communicate it to us. We just had to guess when she might possibly need the morphine or other medications to help her sleep. It wasn't fair and I was letting God know about it. It wasn't until later that I actually thought about what my grandma would tell me about my attitude and my anger. She would not have approved.

It took my grandma a little over a week to die from when they took all fluids away from her. It was a bittersweet time with my family. I became a lot closer to an aunt that I had never really had a real conversation with. She told me things about my grandma I had never heard before. She had been sick for so long, that it was getting hard for me to remember my grandma back when she was healthy and walking and talking. One thing that resonated among all of us was how grandma affected and shaped us, even though she never was a big talker and always a very quiet spirited woman. She was incredibly strong physically and spiritually and it showed. I know she was out of it most of the time from the morphine, but I really hope my grandma heard and understood those conversations around her. I hope she knew how many hearts she had touched and how many lives she had affected. I pray that she gained some sort of comfort and hope in those times of fear. I hope she saw that she had taught her children and grandchildren, through her consistency and faithfulness, how to love.

I love the thought of Grandma with her Savior. I really have no idea what heaven will be like, but I'd like to think of her running through fields of wildflowers on healthy legs and I can see her holding her baby girl....and finally being able to smile again. I love you, Grandma and I miss you so much, but I rejoice in the hope that we have in Christ...the hope she showed to me and taught me everyday.

Beulah Ruth 1925-2006

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Proverbs 3:5,6

Memorial Day Weekend

This was somewhere in South Dakota....I forget what it's called...

Abby, Jerod and some chick.

A baby cub sleeping in a tree at Bear Country

There's lots of other pictures...maybe I'll find time to post some. I spent most of the weekend stressing about meeting "the parents", so I neglected my normal picture-taking obsessiveness. Plus, I forgot a memory card at home, so I couldn't even use my own camera. But, we all survived the weekend and managed to have a good time in the process. As Jerod would say, that's the last time I'll have to meet them for the first time.....or something like that....

Whoa-whoa Grandpa

Ok, random random post. I ran out of CD's this morning when burning Lost episodes for my sister, so I was digging through my drawers for a CD with room still on it. I found a CD with this picture on it and it made me smile. A couple summers ago, I was at my cousin's wedding and at the reception, my Grandpa whipped out his dancing shoes. We were all unaware that he even danced!! He later told us that he hadn't cut a rug in over 50 years.....wild. Needless to say, he was the popular guy on the dance floor with a line of women waiting to dance with him. I was honored to be included. It's not the greatest picture, but you can tell by the grin on my face what a good time I was having...